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Randomus Page Number 2
More stuff for you to pour over!
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Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick them.
Q What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your car
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it is worth it
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Dukey Boy!
There once was an old Duke of Ed
Who was slightly odd in the head
He was so so insane
Made peeps walk in the rain
Whilst carrying him in his bed!
Berliner
There was an old man from Berlin
Whose form was uncommonly thin
Till he once, by mistake
Was mixed up in a cake
So they baked that old man of Berlin
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I just heard that Motorola is going to merge with Enron.
The new company is going to be called Moron.
You are so poor . . .
When you were kicking a can, your friend came by and asked what you were doing. You said you were moving!
Whats dumb? Instructions on toilet paper.
Whats dumber than that? reading them.
Whats even dumber? Reading them and learning something.
Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something you've been doing wrong.
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Fairy Tales
A dark-haired princess was fond
Of kissing a frog in a pond
It made the frog wince
Coz he wasn't a prince
And besides, he wanted a blonde.
Birdie
There was an old man who said "Hush!
I percieve a young bird in this bush!"
When they said "Is it small?"
He replied, "Not at all!
It is four times as big as the bush!"
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A man and a woman are in a supermarket. They are standing in front of the water aisle. The man wonders aloud, "Who would buy all this expensive Evian water anyway?"
The woman says, "Evian... It's naive spelled backwards."
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
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Insanity
There once was a man quite insane
Who danced about in the rain
Quite naked except
A feather which he kept
Tied over his butt with a chain
Rabbits
There was an old person whose habits
Induced him to feed upon rabbits
When he'd eaten eighteen
He turned perfectly green
Upon which he relinquished those habits
for more limericks check out Edward Lear's Book of Nonsense and Nonsence Songs
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