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Random jokes for your amusement
This page is updated every now and again.Revisit soon for more cool jokes.
Recommend jokes in my guestbook and check it
this page again to see if you joke is made the star joke.
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Star Joke
Act Of God
The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister
appealed to the congregation for a salary increase
to cover the addition to the family. The
congregation agreed that it was only fair, and
approved it. When the next child arrived, the
minister appealed and again the congregation
approved the increase. Several years and five
children later, the congregation was a bit upset
over the increasing expenses. This turned into a
rather loud meeting one night with the minister.
Finally, the minister stood up and shouted "Having
children is an Act of God!"
An older man in the back stood and shouted back "So are rain and snow, but we wear rubbers for them!"
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Times 2
One day this guy was sitting at this bar in Chicago and looks over and sees this guy that looks exactly like him. He says to the guy, "Hey you look just like me!"
The other man agrees and asks, "Where are you from?"
The first guy answers, "Chicago."
"Me too!" says the second guy, "What street do you live on?"
"Forty-Ninth Street," answers the first guy.
"Me too!" says the second guy, becoming increasingly excited. "What's your address?"
"951."
"Me too! Wow, this is incredible! What are your parents' names?"
" John and Cathy," says the first guy. "Me too!" shouts the second guy. "I wonder if we're related!?"
Meanwhile, the bartenders are changing shifts and the guy coming on asks if anything is new. "No," says the first bartender, "just the Smith twins, drunk again."
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Ickle Tickles
BMW & a Porcupine
What is the difference between a BMW & a porcupine?
A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
Blonde and a Brunette on a Cliff
Q: A blonde and a brunette jumped off a cliff. Who hit bottom first?
A: The brunette -- the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.
Blonde Makeup
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
She was trying to make up her mind!
Stupid Joke
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
Children and Cars
Children in the back of the car cause accidents.
Accidents in the back of the car cause children.
Check out jokes.com
Mama mia, what's a honeymoon?
Two Italian virgins get married and go on their honeymoon. However, they have no idea what they're supposed to do once they get to their hotel room.
The newlyweds decide to call the groom's mother and get some advice on what to do. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together and snuggle with each other and things should start to happen from there. The newlyweds start to do this but nothing else happens.
The groom calls his mother back to find out what to do next. She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers in bed and nature should takes its course. The bride and groom take his mother's advice but still nothing.
He calls his mother a third time. Getting frustrated with the situation she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest thing!" and hangs up on him.
A few minutes later, he reluctantly calls his mother back, "Well, I have my nose in her armpit. What do I do next?"
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Body Doubles!
A bunch of Saddam Hussein's body doubles were
waiting in a lounge when they heard on the news
that Saddam's palace had been bombed. One of
Saddam's advisors called them and said he had good
news and bad news.
The doubles said they wanted the good news first,
so the advisor said that Saddam had survived the
blast. The doubles were greatly relieved.
"Then what's the bad news?" they asked.
"Saddam lost one of his arms," the advisor replied.
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In the back woods of Arkansas...
In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world.
"Whoa there Scotty!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down... I think there's yet another wee one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby.
"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man... It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor.
The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor. "Do ye think it's the light that's attractin' them?"
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